1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,480
I hate going to sleep, I do.

2
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,960
I just do.

3
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:11,960
I just hate going to sleep...

4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,640
..I do.

5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,640
Just hate going to (YAWNS)
sleep anyway...

6
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,960
..I do.

7
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,960
I don't like going to...

8
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,960
'How many hours do you reckon
you could stay awake for?'

9
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:51,000
Erm...
Competitively?

10
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,960
24.

11
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,960
Well, yesterday,
I can use an example.

12
00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:01,160
I stayed awake
for eight-and-a-half hours.

13
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,320
I did.
Eight-and-a-half?

14
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,960
Yeah.

15
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:10,960
Wow(!)

16
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:15,960
Oh, the sleep is very important.
For me, it's very important.

17
00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,960
For me, sleeping is very important.

18
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,960
I think it's very important,
the sleep...

19
00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,960
..for me.

20
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,960
People think that when
you work on nights,

21
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,960
that you'll automatically sleep in
the daytime because you're so tired.

22
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,960
It doesn't work like that.
I wish it did.

23
00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:34,960
Cos you're really...you come home,
I come home at six in the morning,

24
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:38,960
I'm buzzing and I could go to ten,
12. I could stay awake all day.

25
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,960
But then, all of a sudden -
bang, it hits you like a wall.

26
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,000
Say, for instance, you've got -

27
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,960
He turns into a grumpy old (BLANK),
that's what happens.

28
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,960
Lost my...I had a good one.
Oh, sorry.

29
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,960
I don't go to bed till late.

30
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,000
I couldn't go at nine, like you.

31
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,960
You couldn't.
No.

32
00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,960
Half-past nine and that's it.
Is it lunchtime?

33
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,960
No.
No.

34
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,640
Normally, I'd have
six to seven hours' sleep.

35
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,960
I think it's advisable
to have seven.

36
00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:14,320
I know that if you have
more than seven or less than seven,

37
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:16,960
you're likely to die earlier.

38
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,960
If you're tired enough,
you'll sleep anywhere.

39
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,800
Doesn't matter where it is.

40
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,960
As long as it's warm and dry.

41
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,960
That's all you need, really.

42
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,160
I've slept in fields,
stuff like that.

43
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,960
Erm...tunnels.
Under motorway bridges.

44
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,000
Slept in the middle of motorways
a couple of times.

45
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,960
(LAUGHS)

46
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,960
It does something queer to folk,
don't it?

47
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,960
I mean, they might be a bit more
sparky

48
00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:49,480
and erm...you know,
they might be in the mood for love.

49
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,960
I could sleep 12 hours, easy.

50
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,960
I could go to bed now and not wake
up till 8:00 tomorrow morning.

51
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,960
RINGING
Five...now the phone's ringing.

52
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,960
Hello.

53
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,320
Hello?

54
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,960
No, she died ages ago, you'll need
to update your records a bit better.

55
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,960
No, she didn't.
It's only the neighbour that moved,

56
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,960
but they don't like...(LAUGHS).

57
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,960
I heavy breathe at night.
No, man, you snore.

58
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,800
I don't snore.
You've always snored.

59
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,640
I don't snore.
You snore like -

60
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,320
I don't snore. I don't snore.
You do.

61
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,480
Why do you...why do you deny it?
I heavy breathe.

62
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,800
I'm telling you, I've heard you
snoring. You won't believe me.

63
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,960
I'm not going to lie to you
about something like that.

64
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,960
You snore, man.
I don't snore.

65
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,000
You do, like a pig.

66
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:47,320
I've never heard a pig snore.
It's diabolical.

67
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:51,960
I'm not kidding, I'm not being
nasty, I'm telling the truth.

68
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,960
It wakes me in the night.

69
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,960
It did early this morning,
about 4:00am

70
00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,960
And I shook...well, I didn't shake
Jackie,

71
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,960
I said, "Jackie, Jackie, turn on
your side."

72
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,960
Cos, when she's lying on her back,
her head will flop back

73
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,960
and she'll go...(GRUNTS).

74
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,800
And I thought, "Oh, aww," -
You're nasty about me.

75
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,960
No, it's not. I'm not being nasty.
I can't help it, can I?

76
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:18,960
I can't help it.
No. You've had your adenoids out.

77
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,960
Yes, I have, and my tonsils,
but I can't help it.

78
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,960
I've got to lie on my back,
cos I've got a bad back.

79
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:26,160
If I ever sleep on my back,

80
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,960
I have those dreams
where it's like you can't move.

81
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,000
Really scary dreams.

82
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,800
Like you're half awake and
half asleep and I really hate that.

83
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,800
Never, ever sleep on your back,
do you?

84
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,160
Not any more.

85
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,960
Well, that's...

86
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:46,960
Well, there is such a thing
as nose pegs.

87
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,960
Is there really? Oh well.
Yes.

88
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,480
Which we'll have to introduce
into this household.

89
00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,960
I'll go and sleep in the other room,
if you want.

90
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,960
Well, you go and sleep
in the other room.

91
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,960
Yes, why not?

92
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:02,000
If you don't get your sleep
you're...don't approach him.

93
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:06,800
Don't approach him until he's -
(LAUGHS)

94
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:09,960
It's like, seriously, forget about
brown grizzly bears,

95
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,960
they don't do damage like Keith.

96
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,960
What about you when you're tired?
You're like the living dead.

97
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,960
You can't talk to him,
he's comatose.

98
00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,960
(LAUGHS) Can't do nothing.

99
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,960
No, I don't do that crazy stuff.
(LAUGHS)

100
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,480
Mummy.
Yes, darling?

101
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,960
I'm tired.
'Does he want to go to bed?'

102
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,960
No he never goes...it's the middle
of the day, Michael.

103
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,960
'Oh, right.'
I'm just like...Mum, tell him.

104
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:41,960
It's too early. (LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)

105
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,640
In the daily life, you hear a little
bird tweet and it sounds lovely.

106
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,960
But if that bird is tweeting at
11:00, when you're trying to sleep,

107
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,960
you wanna kill the (BLANK).

108
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,960
But, in the morning, you think,
"Aww, lovely little bird."

109
00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:58,800
For me, it was because, it was -
Cos I went to bed the other day,

110
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,960
and that little (BLANK) was
there tweeting in that tree

111
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,160
and I wanted to go down...there was
a whole family in there. (TWEETS)

112
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:08,960
You'll then decide...it's almost -
Ooh, (GROWLS), shut up.

113
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:16,640
'OK, Steven,
have you ever sleep-talked?'

114
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,960
How's he gonna know that?
How do I know?

115
00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,960
How's he gonna know
if he sleep talks?

116
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,960
You should ask her that question!
What a silly question.

117
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:27,000
Sometimes Steven
is tossing and turning

118
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,960
and I think
he's running away from somebody,

119
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,960
he's probably doing something
that he shouldn't be doing.

120
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:38,160
He's usually...he does sometimes
(MUMBLES AND MOANS).

121
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,320
So, I don't know what he's doing.

122
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,960
KNOCKING
(LAUGHS)

123
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,960
Open the door, Dad. I'm sleeping.

124
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,480
KNOCKING
Daddy, let me in.

125
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,960
(LAUGHING) Daddy, let me...
(LAUGHS)

126
00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,960
KNOCKING
I ain't getting out my bed.

127
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,960
Do you know what time it is?

128
00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960
It's 12:00.
Do not make eye contact.

129
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:03,960
Hay. Hay. Lots of hay and cows.
(LAUGHS)

130
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,960
Do you dream?
Dunho?

131
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,800
No.
Run home?

132
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:09,960
No.
Rung ho?

133
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,000
Dream.
Yes, I dream.

134
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,960
Yeah, they're terrible, aren't they?

135
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,960
Oh, no. I always dream
the same dream

136
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,960
and I can never
get to the bottom of it.

137
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,960
Better go back to sleep.
Yeah, go back to sleep. (LAUGHS)

138
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,960
Mummy.
Yes, darling?

139
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:28,480
(INDISTINCT)

140
00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,320
We'll be finished soon.
I'm tired.

141
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,960
Then go to sleep.
You can come here.

142
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,960
Well, I need to suck my thumb.

143
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,960
Yeah, suck you thumb, then.
That's all right.

144
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:41,800
Well, when I can I get
this microphone off me?

145
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:44,960
Get the microphone off now.
There you are.

146
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,000
Now you don't have to
worry about it.

147
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:50,960
You've finished your contribution,
you lay down and suck your thumb.

148
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,960
I keep getting up.

149
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,960
I do.

150
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,960
(YAWNS) I'm tired.

151
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,960
I should've went to bed.

152
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:34,320
I just hate going to sleep...I do.

153
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,800
(SNORES)

154
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,000
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